You obviously ain’t doing shit, so read on

Nothing important to say today really, so let’s just talk about some recent headlines….

First off, I believe a congratulations is in order for the surgical team who gave Connie Culp, victim of an attempted murder-suicide by her husband, the first ever face transplant earlier this month. She must be so excited because, you know, she was probably sick of people looking at her funny.

Not to slag off the surgeons, but to be honest, when I saw the press conference, my first thought was “Well, it’s not a great job, is it?”.

I think I forgot that, you know, they PUT ANOTHER PERSON’S FACE ON HER.

But perhaps the more interesting aspect of this story, is that Connie Culp has forgiven her husband, and the two lovebirds may get back together when he’s released from prison in 2012.

And I think that’s a really admirable and inspirational story. All couples have their problems, but we can’t just give up on each other, that’s why divorce rates are so high nowadays, too many people run at the first sign of trouble. Sometimes we have to look past the execution-style shootings and just move on.

Her husband reportedly said “She looks beautiful” after seeing pictures of the face transplant from prison.

I think he should stop lying to her. His dishonesty may be something that caused the problems they had as a couple in the first place. But the important thing is taking babysteps, so no more shooting in the face with high caliber weapons. That’s the rule from now on. We can work on the honesty later.

I’m a bit curious as to how Connie’s girlfriends are reacting to this.

“Connie baby, it’s time you dropped that deadbeat. You looking good girl, got that new face popping off, get out there and part-ay”

Ah, let’s move on, I’ve milked all I can out of that tit.

Also, Hell called. I’m due in by 6.

Another big headline from Yahoo has been whether Jon Gosselin from Jon and Kate plus 8 has been cheating on his wife, and I think we  really shouldn’t be quick to jump to conclusions just because Jon, 32, was out at a club with a 23 year old girl till 2 in the morning.

Jon said “Like most people, I have male and female friends, and I’m not going to end my friendships just because I’m on tv”. And frankly, I don’t see anything wrong with that. Alot of married, 32 year old fathers are friends with 23 year old women, because 32 year old fathers like pussies and blowjobs imparting their knowledge to young people.

What else? … oh yeah, Michael Jackson got a new gig as a robot teacher in Japan. I think it’s a good business move for him with his recent financial troubles and all. Best of luck to him.

On a personal note, I’ve got this visiting Singaporean pharmacist following me around at work, just in my ass all day. He sits about 5 inches behind me in my cubicle, because we have nowhere to put him, and I’ve been trying to get rid of him for close to two months.

Finally I came up with a plan. Why should I feel put out? I’m gonna start making it as uncomfortable for him as possible. So I began to put more things in my cubicle. Boxes of paper, piles of patient records, another chair, anything to congest the space a bit more.

“I just don’t know what to do with this old photocopier now that we’ve got this new one”

“Oh just put it in my cubicle”

“Are you sure? Aren’t you a little squashed in there?”

“Nah, It’s all good, I like it tight, knasaying?”

“haha, okay, thanks”

“no problem”

 

He’s leaving on Thursday.