Every week they have a different celebrity/public figure and they select 10 out of hundreds of reader submitted questions for the person to answer.

This week’s guest is John Krasinski, the guy who plays Jim on NBC’s version of The Office, and since hundreds of readers are disappointed with unanswered questions every week, I thought I’d answer some on his behalf:

Posted by Cynthia Chavez in SaintPaul,MN:
What is your favorite episode of The Office?

I think I have to honor my fans and say my  favorite episode is ”The Job”, which was the finale for season 3. I mean, Jim finally asked Pam out! And she said yes! So it was definitely a good time in the life of Jim.

Posted by Louise Foster in Atlanta:
Who would you love to work with?

Great question Louise. Until his very sudden death recently, I had always wanted to work with David Foster Wallace. He wasn’t an actor but David really was my first inspiration to perform. An amazing writer, his stories are what I wanted to share with the world.

Posted by Michael Davis in Houston,TX:
In these economic times, would Jim be concerned about getting laid off?

He’d probably be worried about income, but it wouldn’t concern him too much. Also, Jim’s made up, so like, why the fuck does it matter

Posted By Linda Smith in Chubbuck, ID:                                                                      My son is an aspriring actor. What advice would you give him?

Give up

Posted by Christopher Montgomery in AppleValley,MN:                                       Is there an office supply you can’t live without?

Pass

Posted by James Hallam in York(England):
Jim seems to be simultaneously held back in his work-life and loved by the viewing public for his humility and likeability; do you think this is a worthy trade-off? and could he even be described as a role model for a generation disillusioned by capitalist ethics?

Fuck you and your family for 18 generations

Ah I feel sick, can’t be bothered to think of more unfunny shit.

First off, I believe a congratulations is in order for the surgical team who gave Connie Culp, victim of an attempted murder-suicide by her husband, the first ever face transplant earlier this month. She must be so excited because, you know, she was probably sick of people looking at her funny.

Not to slag off the surgeons, but to be honest, when I saw the press conference, my first thought was “Well, it’s not a great job, is it?”.

I think I forgot that, you know, they PUT ANOTHER PERSON’S FACE ON HER.

But perhaps the more interesting aspect of this story, is that Connie Culp has forgiven her husband, and the two lovebirds may get back together when he’s released from prison in 2012.

And I think that’s a really admirable and inspirational story. All couples have their problems, but we can’t just give up on each other, that’s why divorce rates are so high nowadays, too many people run at the first sign of trouble. Sometimes we have to look past the execution-style shootings and just move on.

Her husband reportedly said “She looks beautiful” after seeing pictures of the face transplant from prison.

I think he should stop lying to her. His dishonesty may be something that caused the problems they had as a couple in the first place. But the important thing is taking babysteps, so no more shooting in the face with high caliber weapons. That’s the rule from now on. We can work on the honesty later.

I’m a bit curious as to how Connie’s girlfriends are reacting to this.

“Connie baby, it’s time you dropped that deadbeat. You looking good girl, got that new face popping off, get out there and part-ay”

Ah, let’s move on, I’ve milked all I can out of that tit.

Also, Hell called. I’m due in by 6.

Another big headline from Yahoo has been whether Jon Gosselin from Jon and Kate plus 8 has been cheating on his wife, and I think we  really shouldn’t be quick to jump to conclusions just because Jon, 32, was out at a club with a 23 year old girl till 2 in the morning.

Jon said “Like most people, I have male and female friends, and I’m not going to end my friendships just because I’m on tv”. And frankly, I don’t see anything wrong with that. Alot of married, 32 year old fathers are friends with 23 year old women, because 32 year old fathers like pussies and blowjobs imparting their knowledge to young people.

What else? … oh yeah, Michael Jackson got a new gig as a robot teacher in Japan. I think it’s a good business move for him with his recent financial troubles and all. Best of luck to him.

On a personal note, I’ve got this visiting Singaporean pharmacist following me around at work, just in my ass all day. He sits about 5 inches behind me in my cubicle, because we have nowhere to put him, and I’ve been trying to get rid of him for close to two months.

Finally I came up with a plan. Why should I feel put out? I’m gonna start making it as uncomfortable for him as possible. So I began to put more things in my cubicle. Boxes of paper, piles of patient records, another chair, anything to congest the space a bit more.

“I just don’t know what to do with this old photocopier now that we’ve got this new one”

“Oh just put it in my cubicle”

“Are you sure? Aren’t you a little squashed in there?”

“Nah, It’s all good, I like it tight, knasaying?”

“haha, okay, thanks”

“no problem”

He’s leaving on Thursday.

And then 5 o’clock came by and I realised why as my car was decimated from bird shit. So sad.

I use to always be constantly amazed at how bad Australian commercials are, how they are not funny and how most of them don’t even make sense, but then I realise it’s all just a big joke and that marketing executives in this country are actually participating in this big inside joke where they try to come up with the worst possible advertising campaigns  and get them approved.

The most glaring example of this is probably the ANZ Championship. For those of you who don’t know (Yeeka you don’t know) it’s the professional Netball league of Australia and New Zealand and their slogan is “The Hottest Game In Town”.

Why is this funny? Well, because the ANZ championship is clearly on the complete opposite end of the spectrum.

When one of your commentators can freely say “Well I don’t know much about Netball but that Sandra Shipton looked like a good player, the way she was running around”, perhaps “The Hottest Game In Town” is not the most appropriate moniker.

I just love how literal it is. Like you have to tell everyone how popular you are. That’s irony at it’s best right there.

The NBA has “Where Amazing Happens”, as opposed to something like “A popular basketball competition” because, well, it doesn’t really need to say it.

The commercial is even more cringe-worthy, with numerous players staring awkwardly at the camera reciting adjectives that I guess are suppose to describe the league. “Exciting”, “Fast paced”, “Intense” and then at the end one of them says in a joking way “girls running around in skirts” and laughs it off, because, you know, that’s the general misconception of netball.

Although nobody actually cares enough to have a misconception about netball, the idea of “girls running around in skirts” is actually the image the league should be trying to embrace.

But at the end of the day, the point I am trying to make is that whoever decided to spend the entire advertising budget on a 30 second defense case against a perceived slight on the sport is clearly the victor of that inside joke.

I applaude your ingenuity.

Wow I just read that and what a crappy post. I don’t care, fuck you.

Initially I was going to rant about the fact that my brother doesn’t write me ever but I just received an email from him so he’s off the hook for now.

Today I’ve had a productive day at work. It feels good. I’ve noticed that I actually feel bad if I’ve spent the day doing nothing. Maybe its knowing that I’m getting away with something and that one day it will come back to haunt me. Who knows.

Last night I stayed up late to watch NBA 360. Man that guy has a gay voice. What was also wierd was that there were stretches of up to 10 minutes where there was no commentary, just highlights. Strange.

You know what else is strange? Eddie House has a tattoo on his shoulder that reads “E.House”. Maybe he thought he would forget his first inital and last name. Why not “Eddie House” though? Or his social security number? Or AIM password?

Maybe it was two for one at the tattoo parlour that day and he just couldn’t think of another tat. Or maybe he had credit on his account at the parlour for another tat that would run out at the end of the month and he wasn’t going to go back, they charge by the letter and he ran out of cash and there was no ATM around and they don’t accept credit, and being thrifty, he thought he might as well use up his points.  Who knows, there could be a number of logical reasons.

I also noticed something else last night. I was watching an episode of Columbo with my dad and one of the characters said “beef”. And by beef I don’t mean the meat of a cow, but “drama”  or “jump off” or “Rexel head”. Maybe not Rexel head, I just made that up.

Anyway the point is I had no idea that “beef” had been in the american vernacular for so long. But then again I live in the age of the remix, maybe even blogs are retro. Everyone probably use to do this ish with typewriters.

Speaking of typewriters, I watched a little bit of Mad Men the other night, it’s basically a show which gives white guys a chance to be  really racist again. But it’s “accurate to the period” so like, keep it in context. Obama’s president okay? What more do you want?

Also, what’s up with the huge black frame Steve Urkel glasses trend? Get real.

Before I start, yesterday this old Aussie white guy in his fifties had that T-Pain song “Buy U A Drank” as his ringtone. I kid you not. I stood up in my cubicle as soon as I heard it. “wtf? who the hell is that?”

I am still confused.

My two colleagues who went to Hong Kong last week just handed out some sweets. Nice of them, but they were shit.

I have found that I like to pretend I am a successful, hip, big city, corporate kind of guy by looking at the GQ website and looking at gadget blogs.

There’s about a million people in the office today. Feels festive.

Fuck everybody.

I really like that line from Tupac “No one knows my struggle”.

There’s this lady from Chile in my office. Real pain in the ass. She kind of acts like a cross between a cantonese child actress and a theatrical version of “My Fair Lady”. It’s hard to explain but she may as well skip when she walks.

I’m reading the script for 40yr old Virgin. It’s like watching the movie again at work.

Just got back from lunch. One of my colleagues told me the story about her nagging mother again. Funny enough, it was not anymore interesting the second time around.

I wonder what would happen if I just started looking at porn at my desk right now. What if I just started whacking off, not caring?

How would everybody react? “Oh my God! What are you doing?” And then everyone peeps over their cubicles to look and I just ignore them and keep going. What would they say? What could they say? Would they try to stop me? Would they start hitting me?

Wow that would be so wierd.

I need to finish this post, I’m losing my mind.

Yeeka, enjoy.

I’ve been meaning to write for about two weeks now but, as always, my laziness gets the best of me and I put it off until I forget everything funny I’ve thought of and end up having to write some bullshit.

I’ll begin by catching everyone up on what I’ve been up to (WHO AM I WRITING TO? NO ONE READS THIS SHIT!). Ah, well now that I’ve got that out of my system, lets get to work.

I’ve just finished my first week on the new job. I thought I would write a real symbolic final post on my last day at Westmead and do nothing work related, but it ended up being a pretty normal friday for me.

I did some work in the morning, then spent the rest of the day watching episodes of Everybody Hates Chris on youtube. I don’t know why, but I always end up doing shit that, under all normal circumstances, no one else would do.

In high school I would turn up to my last period class on the last day of school ever (as in last day before finals). No one came. Not even the teacher. And on my last day at Westmead, being by myself in an unattended office, I decide to finish up on some paperwork. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t know. I’m not really a goody-two shoes, but it just seems reasonable to me at the time.

Anyway, it was bittersweet leaving Westmead, I had a system going, freedom in start and finish times, and most fridays I got to watch tv all day. But I was glad to move on to bigger and better things.

This new job has been pretty decent so far. My ‘boss’, one of the gastroenterologists, really doesn’t have too much to do with me on a regular basis and I am left up to my own devices. The work’s pretty easy at the moment and all my colleagues seem nice. The best thing though, is that it only takes me 20mins to get to and from work in peak hour traffic. That’s the closest I’ve been to work/school in a very long time.

Oh yeah its my birthday today. 22. Man, I really wish I could turn back time to when I was 15. I’ve already wasted so much time doing jackshit, there’s not another moment to lose. I won’t get anything this year, like most years and I’m cool with that.

Presents aren’t important. My family has never really done christmas or birthdays and it’s real. Kids need to know, you’re not missing out on anything just because you didn’t get something because you were born on that day, or because it’s December 25th.

Everything you get is a priviledge, not birthright.

This year I hope to make progress like I never have before, so that when I am 23, I can  look back and truly be happy with everything I’ve done. I also wish for the safety and health of all my family. At the end of the day, those are the only two things you need.

I hope this year, I will have the strength of character to always remember to be me.

Anyway, I guess the only newsworthy point to make in this post is that I got a call from my ‘agent’ last thursday (sounds stupid, ‘agent’, like I’m actually somebody) about an audition for the next day for a comedy series due to be shot for channel 7. I said yes and on the next day I told work that I had to use my lunch break to take my mum to the Sydney Eye Hospital and I’d be back at one.

So friday rolled around and I raced into the city from Concord, got lost, parked the car on oxford st. and sprinted down to the Casting offices and did my audition. I was so rushed I really didn’t care too much about the performance but the lady seemed to like it and then I was on my way again. I got lost getting back to Concord and ended up getting back to the office at 2. I stayed back till 6:30 to make up for it.

Right now I’m at my desk at my new job, 6th day and I am about to go insane with boredom. I haven’t been this bored since I was in the exact same situation in a similar office about 15km away a few weeks ago. Hence, the cycle is starting again…

So that’s what’s been happening with me. At all other times I am trying to work on my script. Nothing else really matters too much to me at this point. It’s hard to wrack your brains out for a funny and original story just staring at the laptop when you’ve been in front of a computer screen all day, but I gotta keep reminding myself  ”Just lay that first brick”….

One day I will look up and I’ll have this

ZERO 2 HERO!!!!

Being that I am a socially awkward person, I have difficulty judging just when my obligation ends. For example, if the person walking behind me is tailgating me on foot, then the choice is clear, you hold the door open. Two-three steps behind, same deal.

The tricky part is the middle ground, where the person is just far enough that you have to wait at the door while holding it open. But some people are worse than me, they’ll hold the door open when I am ten feet behind them. So now because they are holding the door open, the obligation has returned to my court where I am suppose to speed up to an awkward jog to ‘accept’ their open door.

Then I have to say ‘thank you’ for something I never wanted and really, inconvenienced me so this person can feel good about opening a door for someone.

It’s bullshit. I don’t like holding the open for someone and don’t want someone holding it open for me. I can open my own damn door, don’t fucking make me increase my footspeed to make you feel good you indolent fuck.

Woah I gotta calm down. I’m just a little on edge trying to get everything together so I can start my new job.

On the acting front, I haven’t done anything since my 3minute film thing. I’ce organised to meet a ‘producer consultant’ for my tv pilot I’ve written, so I’ll keep you updated on that.

Also, I’m re-writing a zombie movie script that I should be able to show an agent through my screenwriting class in April supposedly and I’m looking to apply for a master in media practice so I can get a job where I actually get to write crap.

Also, don’t know if I mentioned this before but Gilbert Arenas should just keep his mouth shut when it comes to politics. a) he initially didn’t endorse Obama because he would have to pay more tax (his perogrative) but then b) Baron Davis owned him by calling him out for looking out for himself over the poor.

then c) He jumped on the bandwagon when Obama won saying he was ‘joking’ before. Sorry, didn’t see the humour in it. and then to really put the nail in the coffin d) he actually hopes Hillary and Sarah Palin will be the candidates in 2012. Word?

I mean, I love Gilbert to death, and I try really hard to justify the stuff he says, but this shit I really can’t put a spin on. It’s just pure idiocy. But we’re all humans, and we all write or say shit we regret. So let’s move onward and upward.

Right now I’m reading the comments on Gilbert’s blog, check out this wankjob: “GIL, my wife has a crush on you and wants your jersey on the March 17th game AT UTAH. We’ll be sitting front row, center-court. See you there.”

Who the hell do you think you are? If your woman really does have a crush on Gilbert maybe you should let her suck his dick.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

I was in the 9th of typical work day. It was a Wednesday, so I had a Unit Morphology meeting in the morning, and had spent the rest of the day pretending to do work.

In reality I was refreshing the Yahoo! and CNN websites every ten minutes tracking the 2008 US Presidential Elections.

New Hampshire was the first win, then Virginia and the almighty Ohio. It had happened. Barack Obama became the 44th President and the first African-American to hold the office.

I read articles and saw pictures flooding the internet with news of Obama’s win and thousands around the world celebrating the historic events. All while I went about my business sitting in my office cubicle.

The world was on fire. News from my brother in North Carolina came through, the male dormitory in a small private college went wild. Every account of the moment talked about people rejoicing in the streets. In New York, Chicago, London and even Sydney.

Of the most iconic moments in the 21st Century, and I was sitting in my cube. A civil rights victory for our era. Not just for black people, but every disenfranchised person on earth. A position held exclusively by rich white people was now held by a Black man who lived on food stamps for a part of his childhood.

I should have been out on the streets, in the midst of all the hoopla, but I just sat in my cube, smiling to myself.

“It’s been one helluva day. A minute seems like an hour, an hour a day, and the day a lifetime.” Witnesses say the young worker has attempted to pass the time by urinating regularly, attempting to read every single piece of information on internet and simply closing his eyes.

“Nothing’s seemed to work” says the young man.

Following 7 hours of procrastination, the young man allegedly began writing an entry into his often neglected wordpress blog in the spirit of an article from ‘The Onion’, which is reportedly one of his favorite internet pasttimes.

“I write it because I have no friends who I can divulge my thoughts about pursuing my most personal dream; To be an Actor”

Too chickenshit to let the world know this is what he wants to do, the young man keeps his blog anonymous. Something he will continue to do until, as he articulates, “blows up”.

To date, the young man in question has been accused of amounting up to zero minutes of airtime on television and zero dollars of paid television or commercial work after a year of pursuing his goal. When told of the statistic the boy responded “That’s not entirely true, I’ve done a bunch of extras stuff.”

He added “I’m just trying to stay on the grind, stay motivated and keep my head up. The road will be long”.

The young male is due back into work tomorrow, 7am EST.

So Halle Berry was just crowned Sexiest Woman Alive by Esquire. In her acceptance speech she said she wanted to share her award with every single woman on earth:

“I share this title with every woman, because every woman is a nominee for it at any moment,”

Halle also said:

“Sexy is not about wearing sexy clothes or shaking your booty until you damn near get hip dysplasia; it’s about knowing that sexiness is a state of mind — a comfortable state of being. It’s about loving yourself even in your most unlovable moments. “

I tried really hard to think of a funny joke about these quotes but I just can’t. I don’t know if it’s too obvious or unoriginal, but I’m racking my brains out trying to think of a clever line that can say she’s completely wrong without actually saying it.

Sexiness is good body, good face.

Never really got why sexy women tried to get ugly women to like them by making sexiness out to be something it’s not. No one’s buying it.

There’s actually been a few other good headlines to talk about in the news lately, but I’ve been contemplating a post for a few days and out of sheer laziness, I’ve only decided to post now that I’ve forgotten what the headlines were.

Oh! Here’s one:

Father Antonio Rungi from Mondragone, Italy announced his intention to hold an online beauty contest for nuns

Obviously it didn’t happen, but I don’t see why not. I mean, basically, it’s ’Let’s pick a beautiful woman who you will never have sex with’. Which is pretty much the same for me as when I watch the Miss Universe Pageant anyway. Plus, we might get some real answers about world peace.

I mean is the concept really that crazy? To me its about as crazy as having questions at the Presidential debates…

I really can’t think of anything interesting to write right now so I’ll just give you a quick breakdown of the things I’ve done to get through the day:

1. Check hotmail

2. Check facebook

3. Check Slamonline

4. Check hotmail

5. Check Yahoo!

6. Check CNN

7. Search for job opportunities at Google

8. Realise I am not qualified for anything at Google

9. Go buy a Crunch bar at the shop

10. Ask the storekeeper to hold my Crunch while I get $2.75 from an ATM

11. Check hotmail

12. Get sex tips from Askmen.com

13. Get pick up tips from ivillage.com so I can find a girl to practise the sex tips on

14. Read up on women’s top three fantasies

15. Check hotmail

16. Try to find a way to destroy hotmail

17. Give up on the idea

18. Write a stupid fucking blog that nobody will ever fucking read!!! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Sorry Yeeka.

Argh.